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James Teyler, the second son of Mark and Tracy Teyler, very dear family friends, wrote me recently and asked for advice as he has just started a new ministry fresh out of college.  It's kind of weird because I can still picture he and my son Kurt riding bikes up the street when they were 10 years old!  But boys become men and some men become giants.  So here is my note to a man I pray becomes a giant:

 Dear James,

 Thank you for asking me to share with you some insights that I have had during my time as a Pastor.  Congratulations on your position at your home church and congratulations on finishing at Biola.  You are truly a blessed man to have a great combination of wonderful biological family, church family, Christian education at a really good school and a chance to serve others now in your position as Jr. High Pastor.  You have been given much and now much will be required of you (Luke 12:48).  

 I thought and prayed about your request for advice and I came up with one verse that really, really was impressed upon me.  Before I share that verse, let me just say that I have had some amazing successes in public ministry.  I have enjoyed tremendous highs but I have also experienced some crushing and devastating lows.  Perhaps that is just the way life is but I think that if you are careful and wise you can navigate in such a way that you can experience a life of blessing, success and grace.  Hard times will come, certainly.  But hopefully you will be able to avoid a crushing, devastating loss like many do.

 So, here's the verse:  1 Timothy 4:16  "Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers."   The older English text says it this way: "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee."

 So, here is my advice:  Keep a close watch on your own life and watch your doctrine/teaching.  

 Your own life-- 
  1. Take time regularly to be alone with the Lord and ask the Lord Jesus through the agency of His Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything that He might find unpleasing.  Acknowledge what He reveals and confess the sin He may point out.  Beseech Him for help in areas He may show that needs work, healing, restoration, sanctification.  
2.  Humbly allow some others that you trust to speak into your life.  Start with your own parents.  Give them permission to point out stuff that they see in you that is "off."  Give the same permission to your ministry supervisor, your spouse (when and if that happens in your case), and to some trusted peers.  This is hard.  Our natural defenses go up when we allow others to point out stuff in our life.  
3.  Accept with humility the criticism that will come to you in ministry.  And it will come.  Some of it will only be 10% true but humbly accept the 10%.  Throw the rest away but look for the tiny nugget that you can learn and grow from.  
4.  Get help for areas of your life that you continue to struggle in.  It is amazing to me how quickly we run to a medical doctor when we are in physical pain but how long it takes to get to a gifted counselor when our soul is in pain.
5.  Let me be positive for a moment:  Concentrate on what you are good at in ministry.  Are you a good speaker?  Then speak a LOT.  Are you creative?  Then go crazy and dream up all kinds of cool things. Avoid as much as possible the things that are not in your sweet spot.  Don't be afraid to say no to some good things so that you can concentrate on great things.  One of my mentors told me, "every time the phone rings it is not necessarily from God."

 Your Teaching--
1. You already have a good start by being a Biola grad.  But (and I think you know this) you still don't know squat.  Study, study, study.  Read.  Ask good questions of the godly men and women around you.  
2.  Evaluate and de-brief your public speaking/teaching.  Ask people who you trust and admire to listen to your teaching to see whether you are "rightly dividing the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15)  Again, humbly receive criticism.  Do this all your life.  It is amazing to me, simply amazing how few leaders de-brief their messages and evaluate what they teach.
3. Continue formal education.  Start making plans to get a Master's degree.  I have never met anyone, anyone who told me that they regretted the decision to get a degree.  But I have met tons of people who have told me how sorry they were that they didn't get more education.  If it takes a doctor 10 years of school and practice to work on your body, how much school/practice should it take to work on our soul?

 God bless you James!  So proud of you and so thankful for your wonderful family and our friendship through the years.

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